I realized that I'm not an avid blogger. Which is not very helpful when you start a blog...but here we go...again.
I am tired of quitting. I am tired of looking for answers. And yet here I sit....looking up exercise equipment and programs...3 of which I own, along with a basement full of equipment. Regardless, I still WANT to lose weight. I still want to feel better and look better. I still have the same goal of getting below 200lbs, but I want to STAY below 200 lbs. That means I need to do it in a way that I can maintain. Dieting, is not a choice, but eating healthy is. Finding an exercise program that I can be consistent with is also my objective. I realize at my weight, doing insanity or T25 or P90x is not realistic and it makes me feel defeated.
So...I'll figure something out. Right now, I just want to cut back carbs and sugar. That should be doable. I'll let you know how it goes.
Sunday, May 17, 2015
Saturday, August 4, 2012
Last Resort!!
So...here I sit...about a full year later...only 15 pounds closer to my goal than on day 58. SIGH. I'm not sure what is getting in the way, but I know it is all in my head.
Let me recap the past 10 months...
By February 10, 2012, after 4 months of WW, I had reached my 10% weight loss goal. I had lost 26 pounds with very mild exercise (16 sessions of the 8 week boot camp I joined) and staying on plan with WW. Between February 10th and May 11th (3 months) I was at the EXACT same amount of weight loss. I had slight fluctuations up a little and down a little. That was motivation for me to buckle down. Eventually I reached my next 5lb weight loss and was down in the 220's for the first time since I can remember. Unfortunately, that didn't hold. Despite my FB post receiving over 70 "likes", I reverted to old habits. I feel like I let everyone who supported me down, not to mention myself. I have been on a steady decline, gaining back 15 of the 30 I had lost. I haven't been to meetings in two weeks. I realize I eat horribly and it shows in the numbers and in my esteem. The positive was that I started playing basketball a lot more. Some weeks it was up to 4 days, but usually it's 2 or 3. My knee isn't as invested in playing as my heart is, but the discomfort was worth the hours of feeling great.
Fifteen pounds later, I've decided it is time to revamp my strategy....or just plain have one...so I came back to what I once relied on for motivation: my thoughts and feelings from before. I was going to delete everything and start fresh, but I guess that defeats the purpose of having an archive of . It's just really hard to come back to this with little to no progress. Hopefully it'll snap me back to the right track.
I changed my picture to one that reads "If you're tired of starting over, STOP QUITTING!" So, hopefully this will sink in if I look at it daily. I have to set some goals...come up with a plan. Right now, exercise is mild, with as much basketball as my knee can tolerate (so long as we can withstand this heat wave). So, I'd like to focus on my eating habits. I must admit, it is extremely difficult when I am out of work. I have no schedule, no routine. I eat what I want when I feel like it. That is no strategy for successful weight loss...but I thoroughly enjoy food :-/ Food and I have had somewhat of a mutually abusive relationship. I abuse food, and then allow it to abuse my body. I KNOW what I should and shouldn't eat. I have an idea of how much I should eat...I just choose no to acknowledge what I know. I think sometimes I get mad that I have to even think about it. Why does my body react to food that way? Will I have to count points for the rest of my life?!? Why can't I just make better choices?! And the answer to all of my questions is: I don't know. I don't know why food affects me the way it does, holding on to every calorie and oz of fat. I don't know if I'll have to count points, or if I can wrap my head around better and effective food choices. And I really don't know why I don't do better if I know better. Corey said I am either afraid to fail, or afraid to succeed. I think she is right. I just don't know which it is. I do WANT to eat better and workout. I have exercise equipment, videos, tip and hints at fingertips, yet I remain at the front line of this battle. Something has got to give. Ah well, this is all for now. I hope to come up with a strategy ASAP, but for now I just wanted to put my feelings, and (lack of) progress out there. Maybe somethings life-altering will come of it.
Let me recap the past 10 months...
By February 10, 2012, after 4 months of WW, I had reached my 10% weight loss goal. I had lost 26 pounds with very mild exercise (16 sessions of the 8 week boot camp I joined) and staying on plan with WW. Between February 10th and May 11th (3 months) I was at the EXACT same amount of weight loss. I had slight fluctuations up a little and down a little. That was motivation for me to buckle down. Eventually I reached my next 5lb weight loss and was down in the 220's for the first time since I can remember. Unfortunately, that didn't hold. Despite my FB post receiving over 70 "likes", I reverted to old habits. I feel like I let everyone who supported me down, not to mention myself. I have been on a steady decline, gaining back 15 of the 30 I had lost. I haven't been to meetings in two weeks. I realize I eat horribly and it shows in the numbers and in my esteem. The positive was that I started playing basketball a lot more. Some weeks it was up to 4 days, but usually it's 2 or 3. My knee isn't as invested in playing as my heart is, but the discomfort was worth the hours of feeling great.
Fifteen pounds later, I've decided it is time to revamp my strategy....or just plain have one...so I came back to what I once relied on for motivation: my thoughts and feelings from before. I was going to delete everything and start fresh, but I guess that defeats the purpose of having an archive of . It's just really hard to come back to this with little to no progress. Hopefully it'll snap me back to the right track.
I changed my picture to one that reads "If you're tired of starting over, STOP QUITTING!" So, hopefully this will sink in if I look at it daily. I have to set some goals...come up with a plan. Right now, exercise is mild, with as much basketball as my knee can tolerate (so long as we can withstand this heat wave). So, I'd like to focus on my eating habits. I must admit, it is extremely difficult when I am out of work. I have no schedule, no routine. I eat what I want when I feel like it. That is no strategy for successful weight loss...but I thoroughly enjoy food :-/ Food and I have had somewhat of a mutually abusive relationship. I abuse food, and then allow it to abuse my body. I KNOW what I should and shouldn't eat. I have an idea of how much I should eat...I just choose no to acknowledge what I know. I think sometimes I get mad that I have to even think about it. Why does my body react to food that way? Will I have to count points for the rest of my life?!? Why can't I just make better choices?! And the answer to all of my questions is: I don't know. I don't know why food affects me the way it does, holding on to every calorie and oz of fat. I don't know if I'll have to count points, or if I can wrap my head around better and effective food choices. And I really don't know why I don't do better if I know better. Corey said I am either afraid to fail, or afraid to succeed. I think she is right. I just don't know which it is. I do WANT to eat better and workout. I have exercise equipment, videos, tip and hints at fingertips, yet I remain at the front line of this battle. Something has got to give. Ah well, this is all for now. I hope to come up with a strategy ASAP, but for now I just wanted to put my feelings, and (lack of) progress out there. Maybe somethings life-altering will come of it.
Monday, October 10, 2011
Day 65
The past week has been one of great triumph and success. I have set goals and made plans of how to reach those goals. I started with WW last week and went to my second weigh in today. I lost 7.6 POUNDS! The week wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be. Corey and Mom continue to support my food choices, but I also have done better at having moderate portions with the exception of dinner. I only used some of my weekly points plus, and that was with a birthday party and a happy hour. Now, my points dropped a couple, so it will be interesting to see how I feel throughout the day while adjusting.
In addition to the food regimen, I was able to meet with my trainer to have my fitness assessment and set goals.
My Fitness Goals:
3. To be able to walk from the basement to the second floor without being winded.
2. To be on time for all 16 of my training sessions over the 8 weeks (starting 10/18)
1. To break the 200lb barrier.
My weigh at the center was 251. My body fat percentage was 42.5. I didn't look at the rest of my measurements, but I did at home for my WW tracker.
Arm-17.5
Thigh-31
Waist-41
Bust-48
Hips-51
I'm not sure how they compare to my day 3, but I will check that out soon.
My WW Goals this week:
to drink (6) 8oz glasses of water
to have a 7pt breakfast
to workout 3 days
I'll check back in next week and let you know how it is going. If I get time throughout the week, I'll also try to add more about how I am feeling. THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONTINUED SUPPORT!!
In addition to the food regimen, I was able to meet with my trainer to have my fitness assessment and set goals.
My Fitness Goals:
3. To be able to walk from the basement to the second floor without being winded.
2. To be on time for all 16 of my training sessions over the 8 weeks (starting 10/18)
1. To break the 200lb barrier.
My weigh at the center was 251. My body fat percentage was 42.5. I didn't look at the rest of my measurements, but I did at home for my WW tracker.
Arm-17.5
Thigh-31
Waist-41
Bust-48
Hips-51
I'm not sure how they compare to my day 3, but I will check that out soon.
My WW Goals this week:
to drink (6) 8oz glasses of water
to have a 7pt breakfast
to workout 3 days
I'll check back in next week and let you know how it is going. If I get time throughout the week, I'll also try to add more about how I am feeling. THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONTINUED SUPPORT!!
Monday, October 3, 2011
Day 58
Yeah, that's not a typo. It is officially day 58, whether I've been on track or not. Like I say in my little blurb, time is passing whether I'm making changes or not, and the proof is in the...low-fat, non-dairy pudding.
My journey started 58 days. Today, I got a new road map. I went to to my first WW meeting. It is a little scary, but I have to remind myself the reasons why I joined in the first place:
1. I cannot do it on my own, I have proven that to myself time and time again.
2. I recognize that my intake of food is something that is negatively affecting my ability to lose weight and WW is designed to combat that.
3. Everyone that I have heard of/from holds WW in high regards as an effective weight loss tool. So, if it worked for everyone else, it is sure to work for me.
Starting weight: 259.6, yes that is higher than day 1 of my journey 58 days ago...but that's why I'm here. 5% weight loss=13 lbs.
10% weight loss= 26 lbs. I hope to achieve my 10% weight loss by January 1, 2012.
In addition to joining and attending a WW meeting, I also signed up for an 8 week boot camp at my fitness center. It is semi personal training/semi small group training and it is once a week early in the morning for 2 months. I will get a fitness assessment and an at home weekly plan to follow that is customized to me and my needs. I look forward to that beginning on October 18th and I dread it at the same time. I know I am out of shape, and I just hope to survive it :-)
Well, that is my update for now. I will return soon with an update on my physical assessment, measurements etc. In the meantime, do something small to improve the quality of your life.
My journey started 58 days. Today, I got a new road map. I went to to my first WW meeting. It is a little scary, but I have to remind myself the reasons why I joined in the first place:
1. I cannot do it on my own, I have proven that to myself time and time again.
2. I recognize that my intake of food is something that is negatively affecting my ability to lose weight and WW is designed to combat that.
3. Everyone that I have heard of/from holds WW in high regards as an effective weight loss tool. So, if it worked for everyone else, it is sure to work for me.
Starting weight: 259.6, yes that is higher than day 1 of my journey 58 days ago...but that's why I'm here. 5% weight loss=13 lbs.
10% weight loss= 26 lbs. I hope to achieve my 10% weight loss by January 1, 2012.
In addition to joining and attending a WW meeting, I also signed up for an 8 week boot camp at my fitness center. It is semi personal training/semi small group training and it is once a week early in the morning for 2 months. I will get a fitness assessment and an at home weekly plan to follow that is customized to me and my needs. I look forward to that beginning on October 18th and I dread it at the same time. I know I am out of shape, and I just hope to survive it :-)
Well, that is my update for now. I will return soon with an update on my physical assessment, measurements etc. In the meantime, do something small to improve the quality of your life.
I'm baaaaaack!
It has officially been over a month since my last blog. I created and followed a detour that got me right back to where I started. A lot has gone on since my last entry, but not much has changed. My weight remains stagnate at a number that I don't care for. Since returning to work, I have tried very hard to eat decently at work, and something reasonable at home. That is probably what has helped me to maintain weight, rather than gain. SO, that is a positive in my eyes. Exercising has become a thing of the past the past few weeks. Between being hurt, being sick and being tired, I haven't quite found the motivation to get up and do something. The most I've done is walk the dog at a somewhat brisk pace on the weekend. I realize that it is not enough to get me to where I want to be.
Today is a monumental day. I did two things to help get myself back on track, and FAST!
First, I stepped foot into the fitness center that I have been a member of for over a year, but have wasted. The goal is to get back in the gym before heading home after work at least twice a week, and squeeze in at least one weekend workout (likely Saturday). They are also starting an 8 week Biggest Loser type Boot Camp in the mornings. It may not be feasible because of my work schedule but I am going to run it by my principal to see if I can work it out. My hope is that I don't have physical limitations, but I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.
Secondly, I joined Weight Watchers! After teetering on the decision for a while now, I finally decided that I had enough. I made another financial investment, hoping this ONE will help the rest pay off. I have heard nothing but positive feedback from Weight Watchers members, both past and present. I think it is just the support I need to compliment the support from my former and hopefully lifelong From FAT to Fit supporters. I have missed you all and hope that you are still here to continue this journey with me.
Today is a monumental day. I did two things to help get myself back on track, and FAST!
First, I stepped foot into the fitness center that I have been a member of for over a year, but have wasted. The goal is to get back in the gym before heading home after work at least twice a week, and squeeze in at least one weekend workout (likely Saturday). They are also starting an 8 week Biggest Loser type Boot Camp in the mornings. It may not be feasible because of my work schedule but I am going to run it by my principal to see if I can work it out. My hope is that I don't have physical limitations, but I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.
Secondly, I joined Weight Watchers! After teetering on the decision for a while now, I finally decided that I had enough. I made another financial investment, hoping this ONE will help the rest pay off. I have heard nothing but positive feedback from Weight Watchers members, both past and present. I think it is just the support I need to compliment the support from my former and hopefully lifelong From FAT to Fit supporters. I have missed you all and hope that you are still here to continue this journey with me.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Days 20-22
It has been a difficult past few days. Beginning with an unfavorable reaction to liquor, my weekend has been far less than productive in regards to weight loss and making positive choices. I refuse to settle for my behaviors the past 3 days. Tomorrow, I return to my regularly scheduled workout, plus one! I have to go grocery shopping tomorrow evening, but I plan on carefully selecting foods that are available at work.
The reasons surrounding my weekend include: a hangover lasting allllll day, donating blood, in which they recommend no strenuous activities, and getting the house in order before the work and school week begin. Not saying all or any of those reasons are good ones, but they are what happened. I still refuse to let this be the end of my journey. I just read that it takes 21 days to form a habit. Unfortunately, I fell off on day 19. I plan on getting back on track and finishing my 30 days strong. I've got one week to make up for lost time and hopefully see some encouraging results that keep me going for the next leg of my journey. Thank you Mom and TLJ for checking in with me. It's a mode of inspiration that is very effective for me. :-)
Highlights: none
Lowlights: poor food choices, little water, very little exercise
Goals: Water, exercise, better food choices.
The reasons surrounding my weekend include: a hangover lasting allllll day, donating blood, in which they recommend no strenuous activities, and getting the house in order before the work and school week begin. Not saying all or any of those reasons are good ones, but they are what happened. I still refuse to let this be the end of my journey. I just read that it takes 21 days to form a habit. Unfortunately, I fell off on day 19. I plan on getting back on track and finishing my 30 days strong. I've got one week to make up for lost time and hopefully see some encouraging results that keep me going for the next leg of my journey. Thank you Mom and TLJ for checking in with me. It's a mode of inspiration that is very effective for me. :-)
Highlights: none
Lowlights: poor food choices, little water, very little exercise
Goals: Water, exercise, better food choices.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Day 19
Wooow! Rounding the bend, on the final stretch towards the [temporary] finish line! Just over 1/3 to go for the first leg of my journey!! In 11 days I will weigh myself and take measurements to compare to the data on Day 3. I'm a bit nervous considering I haven't been doing well with the food component. It's better than it was by far, but there is a lot of room for improvement.
Today was definitely a decent day, and I was even home for most of the day. Honey nut cheerios w/ 1% organic milk for breakfast (no refills :-) ), the remainder of my chicken souvlaki salad w/cucumbers and feta, light dressing, and for dinner, a 3 oz. piece of pan seared steak, mashed potatoes, and a cucumber and carrot salad. I was able to get in about 50oz of water, but I'll try to get more in before bed.
I go back to work on Monday, so I definitely need that routine in place by then. I also need to go buy some fruit, veggies, and lunch food. I'll get on that. Thank you for keeping up with me. If you have any suggestions for low carb lunches, I am open to them!!
Today was definitely a decent day, and I was even home for most of the day. Honey nut cheerios w/ 1% organic milk for breakfast (no refills :-) ), the remainder of my chicken souvlaki salad w/cucumbers and feta, light dressing, and for dinner, a 3 oz. piece of pan seared steak, mashed potatoes, and a cucumber and carrot salad. I was able to get in about 50oz of water, but I'll try to get more in before bed.
I go back to work on Monday, so I definitely need that routine in place by then. I also need to go buy some fruit, veggies, and lunch food. I'll get on that. Thank you for keeping up with me. If you have any suggestions for low carb lunches, I am open to them!!
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Thank you too!
Thank you to all those that are avid readers of my blog, even though you may not be "followers". Each view of my blog is a burst of encouragement that has kept me going even this far. I appreciate each and every one of you and the support that you bring. Thank you.
Day 18
Today had come and gone, and tomorrow awaits. I've been asking myself what I'm going to do with tomorrow, if I do have the privilege of being here. My answer? I don't know. I know what I want to do, but getting it done is a lot more effort, I'm sure you all know. I wish it were easier. I wish it didn't take so much effort. But the fact of the matter is: it does. For me, being fit will take work, as it will for some readers. I guess what I have to remember is not everything takes work for me, but I do have to work at this.
The past two days I have encountered some physical pain that only worsens with Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred. I've temporarily replaced it with The Biggest Loser Power Walk. It is a lower intensity Biggest Loser mile long walk. I actually still have to modify some arm movements because of my shoulder, but the rest it pretty straightforward. Each mile is only 16 minutes long, so there is no excuse for me not to fit it in. I recognize that I need to do more if I want results. So far, I don't really notice any physical results. I try to avoid the scale because it can be discouraging when you feel like you are making good changes and you don't see an improvement in the numbers. I won't measure until day 30 (12 days away!!!) so I don't know of changes there either. I do realize that I feel better. I have more endurance during the workouts and other things, like going up stairs. But I know I can do more. I think I am withdrawing in preparation for the change in my schedule, and life, when I go back to work. I'll try to think of a routine and post it on here, that way I have some accountability. I really will not have much to do with my time other than workout and plan/prep for work, so it shouldn't be too hard.
My diet choices were a little better today, although I'm eating a salad late. I do plan on being more routine with my eating habits as well, so I'm hoping that will catapult my journey in the right direction.
Lastly, water has been a challenge, maybe because it hasn't been so hot that I need to drink a lot, I'm not really sure. I did purchase a Brita filter water bottle so hopefully it is easier at work to get in my daily amounts of water.
I'm still pressing on. Determined to take this 30 days at a time!
The past two days I have encountered some physical pain that only worsens with Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred. I've temporarily replaced it with The Biggest Loser Power Walk. It is a lower intensity Biggest Loser mile long walk. I actually still have to modify some arm movements because of my shoulder, but the rest it pretty straightforward. Each mile is only 16 minutes long, so there is no excuse for me not to fit it in. I recognize that I need to do more if I want results. So far, I don't really notice any physical results. I try to avoid the scale because it can be discouraging when you feel like you are making good changes and you don't see an improvement in the numbers. I won't measure until day 30 (12 days away!!!) so I don't know of changes there either. I do realize that I feel better. I have more endurance during the workouts and other things, like going up stairs. But I know I can do more. I think I am withdrawing in preparation for the change in my schedule, and life, when I go back to work. I'll try to think of a routine and post it on here, that way I have some accountability. I really will not have much to do with my time other than workout and plan/prep for work, so it shouldn't be too hard.
My diet choices were a little better today, although I'm eating a salad late. I do plan on being more routine with my eating habits as well, so I'm hoping that will catapult my journey in the right direction.
Lastly, water has been a challenge, maybe because it hasn't been so hot that I need to drink a lot, I'm not really sure. I did purchase a Brita filter water bottle so hopefully it is easier at work to get in my daily amounts of water.
I'm still pressing on. Determined to take this 30 days at a time!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)